I began reading the book “The Five Love Languages for Singles” a few weeks ago. I had not read this book before. Nor had I even read the first edition, “The Five Love Languages”. From my reading, I have deduced that my love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality time and Physical Touch. As the old R & B song says “Tell Me Something Good”. I love to give and receive encouragement. Also, being an introvert, I love small, intimate gatherings that includes some really deep and meaningful conversation. Surface stuff like, “its a nice day out, isn’t it” do very little for me. But one thing I really love is physical touch. I think one of the things that I miss the most about being married, and probably took for granted, is hugs. I love hugs. This past Sunday at church, I made my rounds to speak to the many brothers and sisters that I know. During this time I gave and received many hugs. I found myself becoming more and more energized and emotionally filled from all of the hugs.
There were hugs from young and old, male and female. There was nothing sexual about them. It was just the hug and touch of a person who cares. And these were real hugs. Full frontal wrap up hugs. Not the side ways churchy, I don’t want anyone to think anything nefarious hugs. But real hugs. Oh sure, most of the guys went in with the hand grip, pull you in, slap on the back so hard, it knocks the wind out of you hugs. But real hugs nevertheless. It felt good.
I’m not sure if God really meant this when he first saw Adam living by himself and said “it’s not good for man to be alone”. But somehow, I think he meant more than just Adam needing a companion, but on a larger scale, he meant for us to live in community. I believe physical touch is essential for survival. Studies have shown that babies are both physically and emotionally healthier when they are shown physical touch by their parents (mainly mom).
I believe communities are stronger and bonds are tighter when they include some form of physical touch. Paul commanded the early church to “greet each other with a holy kiss”. While we rarely greet with a holy kiss, hugs and strong, firm handshakes probably mean almost the same. But I like hugs. Hugs mean a lot to me. Hugs recharge me. When I feel depleted, and start to feel lonely, a hug gives me strength. It renews me.
Somehow, I feel that I’m not unique or strange, but there are others just like me. When I walk around the church auditorium on Sunday morning, I see a whole multitude of people giving and receiving hugs. Its the moment of refreshing. The time of recharge. When some may be coming off a hard week, or preparing for the upcoming challenge. When those, like me, have lost that special someone and may be looking for ways to connect and be consoled. Those hugs mean a lot!
So when you see me wherever. In church, in the streets, at work, in the store, at the game, you don’t have to ask. The answer is automatic. Yes! I’ll take a hug. And I’ll have one to give. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, young or old. Let’s salute one another.
I. Love. Hugs. 🫂